Anti-Bullying Week: What to do if your child is being bullied online
Bullying can be an upsetting experience for a child – and their parents – to deal with. Sadly, research has shown it’s also a common one.
It’s something many parents are concerned about, particularly via online gaming. The introduction of in-game chat functions can open up opportunities to taunt or criticise other players.
Ahead of Anti-Bullying Week read on for what to do if you’re concerned your child may be being bullied online, as well as some resources that can help.
What is bullying?
There is no legal definition of bullying, but the Anti-Bullying Alliance, the organisers of Anti-Bullying Week, defines it as: “The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or through cyberspace.”
Bullying can take many forms and be perceived differently – making it hard to sometimes identify. Perhaps worryingly, one in four children bullied online said they did not tell anyone.
What to look out for
While it can be difficult to spot the signs of bullying, there are things parents can look out for. These include:
Changes in appearance or behaviour
Reluctance - or refusal - to go to school
Changes in academic performance
Secretive behaviour around what they’re doing online
What to do if you are concerned
You know your child best, so if something seems wrong or they aren’t themselves, find time for a conversation about what might be going on.
Choose a time when they are not too tired, upset or otherwise distracted. You might find it easier to chat side-by-side, such as on a walk or car journey or while doing a joint activity – like washing the dishes. Don’t push them for details. Take things slowly and let them know you’re here to listen.
Talk together about the privacy or support settings they can use to help manage the issue. Most gaming platforms give players some level of control over in-game chat, for example the ability to mute particular users. Make them aware of any blocking or reporting functions too, as if users are persistently behaving inappropriately, they may be blocked or banned from a platform.
It’s a good idea to keep a record of any bullying interactions – because your child might need to provide evidence when reporting someone to moderators or administrators. If possible, take a screenshot of any offensive messages as soon as they happen and keep them somewhere safe. Your child may have to describe the situation in a report – so make a note of dates, times and the usernames of those involved.
Help build their confidence
Don’t push them to take time off from social or gaming platforms, as this may make them feel even more isolated from important support networks or activities they enjoy. Asking your child what they want to do and supporting their wishes will help them feel like they are more in control.
Bullying can impact a child’s confidence and self-esteem enormously. Try and build their confidence in other ways, by highlighting their strengths and skills. It’s really important that your child understands that the problem lies with the person who is bullying – and not with them. Being bullied is not their fault, and they don’t need to change who they are because of it.
If they’re finding it hard to talk
If your child is finding it difficult to open up, you might find the Ollee app helpful.
Ollee is a virtual friend, created by Parent Zone and funded by BBC Children In Need’s A Million & Me initiative. It is designed to help children aged eight to 11 start a conversation with a parent or trusted adult about whatever it is they’re concerned about.
Children can follow Ollee’s simple prompts and pathways to choose the subject they want advice on, including school, friends, family, their body, the world, or the internet. Ollee provides them with tailored advice on how they are feeling – including specific advice on bullying – with tips on what to do to help them cope, or to find further support.
Parents can also make an account and find tailored advice. By linking your account with your child, you can use Ollee to start tricky conversations and help your child to open up.
The Ollee app is free to download from the App Store and Google Play Store – or you can use Ollee in a web browser.
